Victoria is a very uncomplaining little person (and example to us all!) and yesterday when Lucy stripped her and laid her on a towel for the purposes of washing her she didn’t make a murmur – even when she was completely wet! I have a feeling that Victoria knows a good deal more about trusting God than we do…
On Tuesday when we took her to see the cardiac specialist from the Brompton hospital (at his monthly clinic at St Peter’s) we came away with a feeling of gloom. The op. can be done at 3 months and before that we are to expect her condition to deteriorate. It seems (from what I can understand) that her lungs are ‘stiff’ because the vessels around are not yet filled with blood. An op. now would mean that her heart would be seriously strained. Putting off the op means that her lungs will get fluid in them for which she will have medication. The op. can be brought forward at such a time as she shows difficulty with breathing. This is also likely to affect her feeding – she will find it too much like hard work to breathe, suck and swallow. I am not thinking too much about this – except that I shall stay near home (and therefore hospital) - and will continue to work from one feed to the next.
Another bit of very exciting news for which we are deeply thankful is that Lucy has found that she may transfer from Leicester to Guildford. She only now needs to speak to the person at Leicester who is responsible for her and then the process of transfer can begin.
The prospect of Lucy going back to Leicester on Sunday is not a happy one, she has been so immensely helpful. She has been answering the phone and emails. As well as this she has been keeping the dinners under control and keeping the small children out of mischief.
One thought which occurred to me while, on Tuesday, I laid down my dear little baby girl on the changing mat for the Dr. to take some blood for a thyroid test was that the Lord lays us in the way of painful experiences. He is watching with compassion while we struggle and grieve but He allows us to suffer because He is all-wise and knows what is good for us. If only this knowledge were to become a reality in my soul I am sure I would begin to make progress.